Marketing Mania

Okay, I’ll admit. I don’t get it.

What’s with the Trader Joe’s tote bags?

Seriously. I don’t understand it. Yes, they’re cheap and they come in nifty colors. And I’m sure they’re handy for carrying stuff. Like, oh I don’t know, groceries.

But why would anyone wait in line to BUY a tote bag? I have hundreds of ‘em from years of attending conferences, sporting events, farmers markets, book stores, museums, banks, wineries, coffee shops, and yes, even grocery stores.

I have tote bags just for holding other tote bags.

And people camp out for hours in the darkness to pay $3 for one? From Trader Joe’s??

Sure, their snacks are insanely good. And they’ve really upped their liquor game in recent years.

But still. They sell bottles of wine for less than a latté. They’ve issued more product recalls than Chrysler in the 1980’s. Their corporate attire is Hawaiian shirts. (I don't want to contemplate Casual Friday.)

Speaking of pointless lines, what were the Swatch riots all about?

Yes, Swatches. You know, the plastic watches available in colors not found in nature? That are completely sealed and therefore impossible to repair?

One of my best friends in high school had, like, 80 of them. No one ever rioted in front of his house to buy one.

Especially for $400.

$400?!?!

I will admit, I didn’t know anything about the company they collaborated with for this “special” watch — Audemars Piguet. Apparently they’re ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra luxury. Their entry-level watch costs only slightly less than my car.

So I can somewhat understand how being able to slap their logo on your wrist for a mere $400 might be a draw. Kinda.

But enough to cause property damage and close down stores??

Believe it or not, this isn’t just a U.S. thing, although we do have a long history of going absolutely crazy over really stupid stuff.

This is world-wide. 

Riot police were called in Barcelona. A mall was closed in London. Times Square turned into a mosh pit. And a launch in Dubai had to be completely canceled. All for a $400 piece of plastic that will wind up in a landfill if it ever breaks?

Welcome to Drop Culture. Where insanity is a marketing tool.

These companies can easily offer these drops online if they want to. Ordering from your phone is much more sane for everyone involved. No riots, injuries, property damage, or endangered employees.

Also, no content.

Make no doubt, scenes of giant lines snaking around city blocks and people busting through doors (and each other) are social media gold.

Eager consumers and/or influencers will film each other waiting with the masses, upload the chaos to their social media, their friends and followers will see and immediately want to get in on this cultural event, and on and on it goes. It’s self-perpetuating.

And should the hordes get out of hand? Collateral damage. Small price to pay for the free advertising that is user-generated content. Not to mention the bonus news coverage.

But while these companies are taking advantage of the relatively recent phenomenon that is content culture, the marketing principles behind them are as old as time.

Perceived scarcity. Exclusivity. Status.

You can get something very few others have. And the stories (more likely videos) of your ordeal to get it are badges of honor. The ultimate social currency.

And, actual currency, as well. Flippers don’t just work in real estate, you know.

A good many people among the throngs have no intention of keeping the product if they're lucky enough to score one. For them, it’s eBay time.

Again, none of this is new. I’ve been to many a sporting event over the decades with bobblehead (or other) giveaways, and I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve seen leave the stadium as soon as they get their prize.

The game, the player, the team, mean nothing. They may have no idea what the sport even is. These are purely investments, and they’re looking to get the highest return possible as quickly as possible.

Of course, the companies dropping these products will say they in no way condone reselling them on the secondary market. It is against corporate policies. They will also issue statements condemning, in the strongest possible terms, any violence or property damage inflicted by their customers.

Will they actually do anything about any of this? Absolutely not. That would endanger their most immediate (and cheapest) form of advertising.

Swatch is especially guilty in this regard. When they announced their watch drop, people assumed it was a one-shot deal and acted accordingly. It wasn’t until things got out of hand (and they made their $$$) that they clarified this wasn’t a limited offering at all, and the watches would be available for several months.

Bottom line, all of this is planned. The hysteria is the point.

This still doesn’t sufficiently explain the tote bags, though. I mean it, camping out for a tote bag? Tell you what — I’ve got a ton I can sell you out of the back of my car for the bargain price of $2! That’s a 33% savings!

True, they don’t say Trader Joe’s, but they perform (a.k.a hold stuff) just as well. And you won’t have to bring a tent.

Hurry before they disappear!